Government vs Hocus Pocus
by flo-bizet
Summary: Yuuko is being forced out of her shop to make room for a mall. But, of course, she isn't going to just sit back and let them.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** Yuuko's being forced from her home! What on earth shall she do?

**Date Written:** January 18, 2007

**Kalili:** This series conscious- DOUMEKI!

**Doumeki:** … Nobody ever reads these things.

**Kalili:** -_sighs_- I know. **WARNINGS!** Language and little, smidge of DouWata. Not very serious, though, since this is a humor and it's not what the story is a about. Take us out, Doumeki!

**Doumeki:** What's the point when there's no one reading this?

**Kalili: **-_glares_- You're hot, but I'm thinking of replacing you.

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Prologue

"A mall," Yuuko muttered. "A mall! What a useless thing to build on my, MY property! If it was a liquor store, I might give the thought a minute or two of my time, but a MALL? Ridiculous." In her despair, she gulped down the last of her drink before moaning. The alcohol probably wasn't helping her mood. "Watanukiii! More sake!"

"You've had more than enough," Watanuki said, putting the scattered empty bottles in a trash bag. "Besides, shouldn't you be trying to prevent this or something? It would be a lot more productive than damaging brain cells."

Yuuko just moaned. Normally she was a happy drunk, but under the current circumstances, it must have swayed happy into depression. Either way, she was doing nothing to fix their (well, more HER) problem.

Earlier in the week, Yuuko had been sent a government order to leave her premises in two weeks to make room for the previously cursed mall. She had actually been offered a ton of money for the past months, but she refused it all saying that, "None of you could possibly understand the importance of my staying where I am." Of course, that didn't work in the least bit. In fact, Watanuki thought that it probably sped up her court order since the dealers thought she was crazy.

Watanuki was puzzled, though, as to why she didn't just do some potion, or whatever she did. It was a very simple concept, really. Just turn all the demolition guys into frogs and problem solved. Easy. But all Yuuko had been doing for the past three days straight was drinking with Mokona. It was a good thing Watanuki had gotten so much aspirin when it was on sale.

"Why?" she was groaning. "Why meee? Why? Why? WHY? WHY?"

"I don't know!" Watanuki shouted. "How about you sober up and do something about it? Why not that equal exchange thing?" (1)

"Watanuki, you idiot!" This was punctuated with a bottle to the head. Angry drunk must have taken over depressed drunk. "I can't give up something to myself! Not to mention it would be an unbelievably high price! I would ask you, but all you have left is your life, and if you I take that, how will I eat?"

"… Why not use Doumeki?" Kill two birds with one stone.

"I wouldn't think of it! And like I said, I don't know of a price high enough. Oooh, Watanuki. We've had some good times, huh?"

"Sober up! And what do you mean you wouldn't think of using Doumeki, but you would be perfectly fine with me as long as I was still able to cook and clean for you? What, if I could be a corpse would you use me? Further more, what good times? My life has been in constant peril nearly every freakin' DAY since I met you!"

"Calm down, already. You can't think straight when you're so wound up."  
"WHAT?"

"Watanuki, if you plant it, they will come. So, I want you to plant a garden in the back. Maru! Moro!"

"Yes, Yuuko?" they chimed once they appeared out of thin air.

"Show Watanuki where the special Mary Jane seeds are."

"Okay!"

"Mary Jane seeds?" Watanuki said as he was pulled towards the back. "I don't think I've heard of that plant. Is it a flower, fruit, or vegetable? And what does it have to do with stopping the construction?"

"It's none of those," Maru said.

"It's a leaf," Moro finished.

"A leaf?" Watanuki repeated. "Must be some magic thing like everything else around here… Mary Jane leaf… Huh… Wait a minute, it's not-!"

"Here it is!" the two girls cheered, pointing to a packet on a shelf.

Watanuki's jaw dropped and his eyes bugged out before he screamed, "YUUKOOO!"

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**A/N:** A little short, but it's a prologue.

**1.)** Fanfic won't let me put a question mark/explanation point combo.

You know what to do!

Please leave a review!

As always, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed with Mokona kisses!


	2. Chapter 2

**Date Written:** February 19, 2007

**Flo:** Yes, I have changed my pen name. Why? B/c a certain person whom I dislike has began calling me by my nick name (Kalili) so I now dislike it. Flo is an adorable name, though! Flo, Flo, Flo! And Bizet is the last name of the composer of "Carmen." J'adore Habanera! Anything you'd like to add, Doumeki?

**Doumeki:** … These brownies are good.

**Flo:** Now if you'll excuse us, please enjoy the chapter while we stuff our faces with food before Ash Wednesday! Fasting outta burn all the junk off.

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"No, no, no, no, and no!" Watanuki was shouting. "I am not going to participate in this! I don't care if you prolong my sentence, this is wrong on so many levels!"

"You make it sound as if you're my slave," Yuuko said absentmindedly. She was too busy waltzing around the back yard as if she were some southern bell. "I like this spot!"

"Do you not understand 'no'?! No! It doesn't matter what spot you like, because it's not happening! There is no way I am going to plant marijuana anywhere!"

Yes, the secret Mary Jane seeds were marijuana. Yuuko and Watanuki's little spat had been going on for over an hour after Watanuki had found this little thing out. Like usual, he had been the only one disturbed by Yuuko's possession of such a plant. Though, during his protests that were falling on deaf ears, he realized that he really shouldn't have been so surprised. He should have been surprised if it was something normal, like spinach. He still felt he should try to reason with Yuuko and put her back on the path of righteousness.

"Relax, Watanuki," Yuuko said, Maru and Moro repeated it. "I'm not going to sell it, if that's what you're thinking."

"Y-You're not?" Watanuki asked.

"No! That's illegal and I can't have anymore legal issues, you know that! I'm giving it away."

"WHAT?!"

"Uh-huh. I've already put out an ad on the internet. Specifically on all of these hippie sites. And what's even better is that I found out how to make clothes out of hemp! I'll give you the directions so you can start on that."

"Why are you giving it away?! You never give stuff away for free! Are you on it right now, or something?!"

"I know where you're coming from. I could make so much money off of selling it, or even bribe the construction workers. But I have a much bigger plan."

"… And what is that?"

"I told you already, 'if you plant it, they will come.' Well, you're planting some mary jane and the hippies are coming to smoke it. And if hippies are here, then they're sure to be up in arms about my humble little home being torn down by The Man and corporate corruption putting a mall in its place, so they'll protest!"

"Can't you just let the hippies protest without doing drugs? Besides, I'm sure they have their own."

"Yes, but this will be a rather large supply and free! Nobody will be able to resist Yuuko's Pot! Also, a high hippie is a good hippie. They won't stand down from an oncoming bulldozer and if it kills them, they get sued and in turn I keep my house."

Watanuki decided to shut up before he got even more disturbed. And realizing that it would be completely useless to keep arguing, he got the gardening supplies, Mokona bouncing behind him singing something about hippies. True, the idea was interesting, but it was incredibly crazy and Watanuki swore that he would leave Yuuko to fend for herself when the cops came.

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**A/N:** Yeah, these chapters are going to be kind of short. Maybe once I get the hippies into the mix along with Doumeki and Himawari, they might get longer, but until then I don't know.

You know what to do!

Please leave a review!

As always, CONSTRUCITVE criticism is welcomed with one of Yuuko's robes (I don't know about all of you, but I would love to have one! They're so pretty!)


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